Just in time for you to cancel all your upcoming weekend plans, I’ve compiled a shortlist of movies, and paired each with strains of fine Oklahoma-grown marijuana. I should warn you in advance, this is not a Cheech and Chong list. My VCR is broken.
1. Dazed and Confused
Strain: Blue Dream
You’ll need this super chill strain to prevent the line, “That’s what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older…they stay the same age,” from making your skin crawl. This will have you dreaming of your high school glory days — good old times when 18-year-olds could buy beer and haze freshmen without being arrested. Ah, the 70s.
2. Leaves of Grass
This is a newer stoner movie set in Oklahoma. Be happy this isn’t your family. You know it could be. Some may wish it were. Ed Norton (times two), Susan Sarandon and Richard Dreyfus star in a stoner movie set in Oklahoma? For real? Yes! Isn’t every Okie family half classy and half trashy, just like Norton in this movie? This strain will help pull you out of the deepest gutters, just like your trainwreck of a family.
3. Pineapple Express
Strain: Pineapple Express
Much like the strain, I think the movie is overrated as well, but what else would you watch at 9 a.m. on 4/20? Rural residents of Oklahoma: While it is tempting, do not go looking for an old barn in which to start a grow operation.
This movie is the most ridiculous story of a money heist, and it’s based on a true story. After watching this, I want to see Zack Galifianakis take Tom Hanks’ role in a remake of Castaway. It would be amazing. I can’t even imagine him yelling, “Wilson!!!” without laughing. Also pairs well with actual Girl Scout Cookies.
5. The Interview
Strain: Red Dragon
Most anything starring Seth Rogan is funny — especially while partaking — but this one got me laughing to tears. This strain makes me laugh until I cry about most anything. After watching the movie, I’m positive Seth Rogan and James Franco are on some hit list in North Korea. I sure hope they survive to make more movies together. They’re basically the Cheech and Chong of the new marijuana era.
6. Bad Moms
Strain: Purple Punch
This movie is classy, just like the floral tasting strain, and perfect for enjoying the disaster that is motherhood. The majority of moms are just like the ones in this movie; no one —not even you, Carol — will deny it’s funny. We barely survive each day with life’s little miracles. If smoking a nonlethal and nontoxic plant makes me wrong, I don’t want to be right. Motherhood is a struggle at times, and this movie reminds us to laugh at ourselves.
7. The Legend of 420
Strain: Cherry Pie
This documentary (not a movie — get over it) must be paired with something distinctly American. The evolving high of Cherry Pie should flow nicely as this documentary unfolds. Don’t worry; you’ll only cry the first 10 minutes or so. After that, it’s lots of laughs and education.
Whichever pairings you choose, be sure to breathe deeply, relax and enjoy the miracle that is medical marijuana.