How to Have a Happy High, Not a Freakscene, on Edibles

Whether you prefer cookies, gummies, brownies or an array of other fat-laden, cannabis-infused snacks, keep in mind they can be tricky and a bit confusing to new users. Take too much, and you’ll have an unpleasant high—or, worse, a freakscene. Take too little, and you’ll feel nothing.

Here are a few things to consider for having a happy high on that tasty, grassy, edible goodness.

1. Edibles take up to two hours to fully take effect.
This seems excessive, really. (Come on, Oklahoma MJ entrepreneurs, come up with a way to speed that up!) The takeaway? Don’t double down on your dose an hour after the first; this rookie mistake can lead to a freakscene, where you get too high and tell your friends, “I’m really freaking out, man.” I know someone who once called 911 and confessed his cannabis crime, because he thought he was dying. Spoiler alert: He wasn’t dying; he just didn’t wait long enough after the first edible before he dosed up again.

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2. Don’t take edibles too late in the day.
In fact, on weekends, I like to get the day started with an infused syrup on my pancakes. If you start earlier, you’ll have plenty of time to wait out the two hours for your edible to take full effect and be able to dose-up appropriately—without being high into the wee hours. Effects of edibles tend to linger longer than smoking, and it’s not real fun to wake up on an edible high and try adulting. Trust me on this one.

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3. Use in moderation.
That entire chocolate bar is not one serving! Each tiny square is a serving. Crazy right?! I suggest hiding the rest from yourself, so you don’t eat it when you get the munchies later. Newbies should start with 5-10 mg, unless you’re feeling adventurous. Edible highs
are much different (and last much longer) than the high you are used to from smoking.

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4. Watch out for anxiety and paranoia.
Moderation is key here. I’ve noticed edibles tend to bring out the pot paranoia in people. Karen, you’re a 38 year old white woman. The cops aren’t looking for you; calm down! While I find it funny and entertaining to watch others go through go full tinfoil hat, it’s not a great experience to actually be the paranoid person.

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5. Some people do not metabolize edibles properly.
For these sad souls, the valuable THC simply passes through their system. A trick I’ve heard from pot pros (not doctors) is to try eating some Tums beforehand. My girlfriend tried this once; she popped five Tums and ate most a 75 mg Oreo brownie, waiting impatiently. She reported that she got a nice kick about 20 minutes later but that the high was minimal, topped off around 30 minutes and never increased. Bummer for Karen.

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6. If you fuck up and eat too many special cookies, try to relax.
Maybe watch a movie, take a shower and sleep it off. Try not to freak out. Once the THC has entered your system, only time will remove it. Whether you try 10mg or “accidentally” eat a 100mg chocolate bar, just relax and remember: There is no known lethal dose of marijuana. Cannabis overdose deaths are exactly equal to the number of people gored to death by unicorns.