5 Places Okies Still Can’t Take Marijuana

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A little, not-so-fun fact: Just because you have your OMMA card does not give you a license to bring — or smoke — marijuana everywhere in this ok state. You can’t smoke a cigarette wherever you damn well please, and the same basic rules (e.g., Smoking in Public Places and Indoor Workplaces Act) apply to cannabis, along with some not-so-basic rules.

I know we’re rebels and rule-breakers, but here is a list of five places we definitely do not want to take our medical marijuana:

1. Will Rogers World Airport

I know flying is a hassle, and going through security can be an anxiety-inducing pain in the ass, but do not bring any marijuana products to the airport. Those TSA agents do not look happy to be there and give zero fucks about your OMMA card; marijuana is still federally prohibited, after all. Pretend your vape pen and gummies are not THC-loaded at your own risk.

2. Little Niagara

Nothing says Oklahoma like naming a lesser, smaller version of something after a grander, bigger version. Nevertheless, if your heart desires to go to Chickasaw and visit Lake of the Arbuckles, I’m sorry to say: You’ll need to leave the MJ at home. Same goes for all national parks.

3. OU Football Games

I know, it’s tempting to sneak a tightly-rolled joint into the stadium to smoke while you watch grown men wear spandex and smash against each other! But you’ll likely find yourself outside — lonely — without a joint. I would also not take an edible, vape or other miscellaneous cannabis product on campus to the library while you “study.” Medical marijuana is prohibited at the two largest universities in our ok state.

4. Jury Duty

While it is your civic duty to gather among your peers and decide the fate of a complete stranger, do not take MJ to the court house. There are many ways to get out of jury duty; I would not suggest going to jail yourself as one of them.

5. Parent/Teacher Conference

Whether your kid is at the top of the class or the bottom, it is always daunting to sit in those tiny chairs and hear what your child has or has not been doing the last six months. It will not help, if you show up smelling like you hot-boxed in the car on the way.

In January, Oklahoma City Public Schools approved a policy protecting students’ access to medical marijuana treatments, but it did not do the same for teachers and staff — who still may not use, possess or be under the influence of medical marijuana at school. So, even if you are not likely to be arrested for showing up high, it’s a bad idea. And you definitely are not permitted to carry cannabis on school grounds. So just don’t.

This is just a small snippet of places in Oklahoma where you cannot possess nor consume medical marijuana. All of them have one thing in common: They receive some form of funding from the federal government, which clearly prefers you pop opioids than edibles.

So, when you go somewhere in this ok state (or any other cannabis-legal state), ask yourself this one question: Does the federal government have any connection to this building, organization or property? If the answer is, Yes, leave the leaves at home — or drop it off with me for safe keeping.

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