Mom’s Guide to MMJ: Indica, Sativa, Hybrids…Oh My!

Getting your golden key into the dispensary is exciting, but the experience in the store can be a bit overwhelming. So much green goodness (if it’s not green, turn around and leave)! If you’re not prepared, you may end up leaving with $479.89 worth of product — only to realize you didn’t get what you needed at all.

After that happened to me, I started making a list before I hit the dispensary. You know…like how you do with grocery shopping, only much more fun (and without little people to distract you). My go-to website/app is Leafly. The app is handy for saving your favorite strains, locations, reviews, finding locations and probably more that I haven’t discovered yet.

Here’s a quick guide to the basics, so you don’t blow your entire paycheck on couch-locking weed.

Indica

These strains put you at ease and tend to produce that couch-lock effect. Strains such as Blue Cheese and Granddaddy Purple are recommended for sleeping issues. I’ll smoke these before bed and watch inappropriate Netflix comedies (ok, don’t judge me here!). I also like to smoke indica strains before watching movies or TV shows that my kids want to watch. Some of them are awful! But if I smoke an Indica, I cuddle up with my kids and giggle at the ridiculousness, and everybody is happy.

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Sativa

These strains are recommended for “preworkout”. As a mom and wife, I recommend them for when you suddenly need to clean your house. I bought a pre-roll one time called The Motivator; it was a mix of three sativa strains. My house was spotless in four hours. Yeah, I might have been high when my MIL arrived, but at least the house was clean. Candyland is one of my favorite sativas to fight fatigue.

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Indica-Dominate Hybrids

Strains such as Grape Kush give its users a high that is mellow and heady, with relaxation effects that help you to not go ape shit on your kids at the end of a long summer. I personally like any strain with either the word grape or purple in them. My anti-seizure meds make my brain speed up — similar to A.D.D. — and these strains work well to slow it back down to normal.

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Sativa-Dominate Hybrids

These lovelies give you a boost of concentrated energy. I smoked some XJ-13 right before sitting down to write this miraculous piece of work. I don’t feel like I need to move around, but my mind is very active. If you have a desk job that bums you out and leaves you unmotivated — or those sweet children have sucked the life out of you before lunch — these strains work well to distract you from reality but keep you productive.

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Keep in mind all strains effect each person differently. Exploring different strains is part of the fun of a partially-legal marijuana industry. If you are using daily for medical benefits, like yours truly, find your faves and keep a few of them on hand, since your body’s tolerance will increase after a couple days usage of each strain.