Wine Mom vs. Weed Mom

Drinking culture — and especially wine culture — is celebrated in this country, while crossing an imaginary line with a joint could get you in serious trouble. Imagine how this is reflected in mom culture! I see all kinds of “hilarious” memes normalizing drinking, but if you share those same memes and replace the word “wine” with the word “weed” you won’t receive the same response. Trust me.

I’ve compiled a list of reasons why I’m a proud Weed Mom…and how it has changed my life and brought me joy:

Better Exercise.

I don’t know about you, but the last thing I would do once I started drinking was exercise. Marijuana is listed as a performance enhancing drug by the USADA for a reason. If you smoke a good Sativa and then exercise, it becomes a euphoric experience. I’m old, so I enjoy going on three-mile walks just about every day for exercise. Other people get more creative.

Health Benefits.

Studies have found that moderate drinking can benefit your heart, where marijuana can slightly increase your heart rate. That’s where the benefits of alcohol stop. In a side-by-side comparison, weed wins in the health category every time. Cannabis has been used medicinally since…well…forever, to treat a number of ailments. I personally use it to stimulate my appetite, treat fatigue and inflammation, and control the anxiety and irritability caused by my anti-seizure drugs. It also gives me the ability to look within myself for solutions to my problems, rather than just hoping they’re at the bottom of a bottle.

Social Happyness.

The negative social side of using marijuana comes mostly from misconceptions and misunderstandings of how cannabis affects your brain and behavior. The negative social side of alcohol is typically caused from your actual brain and behavior while intoxicated. My always-honest 11-year-old once explained my behavior while drinking too much as ‘confusing and scary because I acted like a wild animal.’ Ouch. Then he explained my behavior while using too much marijuana: “I don’t know because I haven’t seen you use too much.” I then explained that when I use a little too much I giggle a lot and my eyes get red. He said “So you get too happy”. There you go.

Less Deadly Driving.

Less deadly is not a huge win, here — especially since no mom (or human, for that matter) should drive under the influence of anything, including many common prescription drugs. There is, however, general agreement amongst researchers that alcohol is the bigger demon behind the wheel. We’ve all seen the mugshots of wild eyed Wine Moms arrested in the school pick-up line. This isn’t really a thing with Weed Moms.

In the end, it’s not a competition where either side wins. Driving under the influence is never a win — and splitting hairs on which is worse doesn’t get you far — so if you know you’re going to indulge, do everybody a favor, though, and DO NOT RISK IT.

100% Fewer Calories.

I understand the hesitance to switch from Wine Mom to Weed Mom; there is frequently a worry of weight gain from the munchies. But — and this a huge but — new research has found that, despite getting the munchies after smoking weed, cannabis users tend to weigh less and are less likely to be obese.

Think about it: An average glass of wine has 120 calories. Guess how many calories a big fat joint has? ZERO. I can chill with a Wine Mom on the porch and for every two glasses of wine she has, this Weed Mom can eat a Snickers!

From my own experience I can say that being a Weed Mom is absolutely better than being a Wine Mom. Why? I’m happier, healthier, and more engaged in my own life and in the lives of the people I love the most. My kids are happier, and at the end of the day, that is what is important. Not what the judgy mean moms may say about me over their glasses of wine.

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