Damn it..summer is basically over! Where did the days go? Passed us by like a cloud of pure, danky goodness on warm Oklahoma evening, no doubt. If you’re like me, the end of summer brings about a certain type of panic and paranoia (not induced by the pre-rolls I enjoy).
Need some inspiration to close it out in a blaze of glory? Here are some of the last-minute shenanigans I pull to make me feel like I didn’t waste my summer:
Flex That Double-Park Pass
You know…that thing you bought for a deal at the beginning of the season, worked on your White Water body and then used exactly twice — only to remember that in the summertime, it’s swarming with kids!? Well, school is back in session, so take a Tuesday afternoon off from work, whip that plastic out and head back to our city’s best two (and also only) legit action parks. The lack of children in the park and the abundance of THC in your system will make the trip so worthwhile.
Hit the Lake
Don’t like the chlorine-, blood- and piss-infested theme parks? Find a friend who owns a boat, grab some hairy nugglets and get out on a body of water! Nothing says “summer’s not going anywhere,” quite like standing on a moving water craft, smoking a fatty. Obviously I don’t want you to toke and boat — that’s why you brought your friend! Go fishing or noodling and have a fish fry to satisfy those munchies after a long day of aquatic fun. Pro tip: DO NOT munch on fish from Lake DirtyBird. That place can go to — and is already — hell.
Go to a Dodgers Game
Ah, America’s past time. Getting high…no wait, baseball. Either way, when’s the last time you’ve been to a game? Too long, probably. This is one of those take-an-edible-to-watch-it sports, so why not bust out that fruity pebbles bar you’ve been saving for a rainy day. Hopefully you’ll catch a game ball or, at the very least, watch an inattentive fan get beamed.
Ride a Scooter
While you’re downtown lamenting that it’s faster to walk than catch the goddamn OKC Streetcar, you might as well join the throngs of scootists…and try to not crash. Scooters are annoying for everyone except the rider, so let’s make the best of it and ride them before they get banned forever! Taking a group of your patient friends and playing pass-the-blunt whilst careening past The Womb is truly an experience to be lived. Bonus points if you can keep from getting stuck in the streetcar tracks on Broadway or catch Wayne Coyne over there not doing something weird.
The 918…I know. If it’s done being flooded, head up and enjoy one of the various activities the Hidden Past City has to offer (OKC got dubbed the “Cinderella City” by the Cannabis Cup people, so I’m just going to start making shit up, too). From a visit to the aquarium — watching jellyfish float in a circle while high…need I say more? — to checking out the local music scene or even catching a big name act at Cain’s or BOK, the Radish Capital of the World has you covered. And if you’re into being lost, dehydrated and anxiety-stricken, definitely don’t miss The Gathering Place.
—Uncle Skunk saw some of you pulling a Full Freak at Bricktown Reggae Fest, he’s so proud!