Top 5 Healthy(ish) Foods to Conquer the Munchies

Judging by the 10:2 ratio of indica vs. sativa strains I see in every dispensary, most of ya’ll like to toke it up…and chill out like zombies! I have a love/hate relationship with couch-lock strains — especially those with Granddaddy Purple. They make me feel so relaxed all I really want to do is watch a movie and munch.

And that could be a problem, because I don’t want to get fat. Again. I use marijuana for its medicinal and health benefits, and obesity is not healthy.

Luckily, with a little planning before a lazy day of toke-and-chill, you can conquer the munchies without gaining the weight.

Here are my top five go-to munchies for purple haze days…snacks that won’t break the bank or tip the scale:

1. Peanut Butter

Anything with peanut butter is delicious. Apples, bananas, marshmallows, granola bars. Sorry, peanut allergy people. I use peanut butter like a dip. It’s like the poor, lazy person’s version of fondue — but healthier than chocolate and a tub of cheese. In my opinion, just about any food is better with a little peanut butter.

2. Popcorn

No, not the giant tin they sell at Christmas; you’ll eat that entire thing in one sitting. I’m talking about the low calorie, microwavable kind you score at the grocery store. At our house, we melt shredded cheese on top and call them “healthy nachos.” I’m classy, so I add other things, like green onions, diced bell peppers, jalapeños, etc.

3. Fruit

The sweetness of fruit tastes extra crazy amazing when you’re high. Nature’s candy. The key, though, is to prep the fruit before you get high. Currently in my kitchen there are bananas, apples, cantaloupe, strawberries, watermelon, grapes and plums. They are all prepped and ready for when those munchies hit…or when the kids get home from school. Does anyone lose when the entire household snacks better?

4. Baked Cheetos

Ok, so this is not the healthiest food, but it sure as hell beats a giant bag of Doritos. I love Doritos, by the way, but the getting-fat-again thing is just not appealing to me. If you’re going to buy chips, buy the baked ones. First, they’re a little healthier. Second, they come in a way, way smaller bag. But this is key: Only buy one bag!

Bonus: Sometimes, when you buy a bag of Baked Cheetos, you’ll find chunks of cheese dust inside. It’s a thing (a glorious thing). And it’s like hitting the snack lottery!

5. Hummus + Veggies

Last but not least: Hummus. This dreamy dip is versatile, healthy and fucking delicious. Make sure you have some bite-sized VEGGIES on hand for dipping, or you’ll end up eating your hummus with an entire loaf of French bread. And that’s not even healthy-ish.

When you’re high, everything tastes delicious — even the healthiest stuff, like carrots, hummus and fruit. So, always keep plenty of the healthy stuff on hand for when those munchies hit.

—Be prepared and snack wisely my friends.

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