Between the OMMA’s latest batch of rapid-fire regulatory changes and the general, moral decline of society, the past week has been the kind of crazy roller coaster that epileptics aren’t even supposed to ride! It’s left me with crippling migraines and headaches.
Whether the pain in your head is dull, pounding, tension- or stress-induced, I have good news: There is most likely a strain that can help a helluva lot more than two Tylenol. Here are the five strains of medical marijuana that work best for my migraines and headaches:
1. Cherry Pie
Yum pie. You can even taste the crust. Smooth and sweet and smokey. After a few tokes, I started thinking, “I don’t think this is working,” but then that fantastic creeper head rush melted down to my eyelids, and all was good in the world. The throbbing subsided and so did my neck tension. My thoughts drifted from my headache to why I didn’t buy some actual pie. Ah relaxation… Get Cherry Pie at Rabbit Hole Dispensary for $125 for a 1/2 ounce.
2. Red Dragon
I’ve talked about the dragon before when pairing movies and strains. It has a woodsy, earthy smoke that reminds me of a campfire. Some strains actually improve your headache, and some lift your spirits to distract from the headache. I’m not sure which one Red Dragon does — maybe a little of both. Who really cares. This strain has the potential to either kill (or make me forget) my headache and lift my mood so much (maybe too much) that my laughter begins to echo in my head. Get Red Dragon at Dragon 420 in Stillwater for $193.48 for 1/2 ounce.
3. Tangerine Dream
After smoking Tangerine Dream, even Katy Perry won’t even give you a headache! Wait…Yes she will. Come on, it’s marijuana not a lobotomy. This is a citrusy, creamy hybrid that gives me a little energy bump while also dulling my daily headache. You know those ones where it feels like there’s a brick on your head? It really helps to mellow those and help me to continue functioning throughout the day. Get Tangerine Dream at Stem Ok for $210 for a 1/2 ounce.
4. Blueberry Headband
My fellow migraine sufferers, you have to try this strain! The combo of euphoria, body relaxation and pain relief works wonders on my migraines…and it tastes like blueberry! My neck relaxes, my skull no longer feels too little for my brain, and that sickle gets dislodged from my right eye. As the headband effect takes over, it’s almost as if the headache is drawing outwards, away from your brain, and your head feels lighter. Get Blueberry Headband at Joint Cannabis Club for $175 for 1/2 ounce.
5. Agent Orange
A combo of citrus goodness and diesel fuel, ah sativas. Jack the Ripper makes an appearance in this strain. The smoke is decent if you like citrus strains. I thoroughly enjoyed the heaviness of my head that this strain gave me. It made me feel like my head was too heavy to hold up. Probably because those knots of tension in the back of neck were finally gone. Get Agent Orange at Herbal Phoenix for $152 for a 1/2 ounce.
Headaches are a bitch (and so am I, I’ve been told). So me and headaches certainly don’t mix. Some weeks are tougher than others, and this past week was a tough one. There are stretches of time where I’ll have tremendously bad headaches for days or weeks — for months, one time. It is unsafe to take opioids or even over the counter meds for that long of a period, and I, for one, am amazingly grateful that I can roll a joint and smoke my headaches away.
Next week we’ll tackle anxiety, so maybe you won’t have such a bad headache to begin with.