5 Anxiety Strains Better Than Xanax

Anxiety and stress go hand-in-hand for me. When I get stressed, my epilepsy symptoms increase, and that makes me anxious as hell. Lots of people joke about having a MMJ card for “anxiety,” but anxiety can negatively effect your health in a multitude of ways. And getting hooked on the oft-prescribed Benzos — despite it being the American way — certainly won’t help matters.

Here are my five go-to strains to knock out anxiety and stress:

1. Blue Dream

This baby has made an appearance before, when writing about ways to melt stress away. She’s back, because Blue Dream fights anxiety like a dream (sorry I had to). After kicking in, she helps my brain realize my anxiety is coming from irrational thoughts. I’m relaxed and de-stressed. Strains that fight multiple issues are my favorite to grow and keep on hand. I can focus on what’s important and how to solve my real problems. Pick up a 1/2 ounce at The Joint Cannabis Club for $175.

2. Slimer

This strain has longer, skinny nugs. The taste and smell are pleasant and very interesting, kind of like a green citrus fruit but not a lime. It’s what I imagine the goo from that green Ghostbusters thing would taste like. This has quickly become a favorite of mine. It brings me chill, focused energy from sun up to sun down. The tasks and situations that typically make me anxious…I just breeze right through them after Slimer. Pick up a 1/2 ounce at KT’s Best Buds for $144.

3. Royal Kush

The Queen is here! My epilepsy meds make my brain feel super active — kind of like a Golden Girls pinball machine but with 10 balls at the same time. Keeping those balls in play is tough. Royal Kush calms my brain and brings me to a “normal” level where I’m only managing a couple balls. Pick up a pre-roll at Purple Moon Dispensary for $10. Or find some seeds and grow this gem at home.

4. Obama Kush

If Trump found out about this one, he’d lose his goddamn mind once and for all. So far, I have only found Obama Kush in cartridge form, but it’s one of the best I’ve had. It’s silky and smooth, with a vanilla flavor. It reminds me of a certain tall, handsome U.S. President in a tan suit with a smile that soothed my soul. And the vanilla flavor lasts through most of the cart. It gives me a heady high and a chill attitude. The only issue I have is that it makes me want to lay around a pool, get a tan and enjoy not being president anymore. Obama really comes through strong on this one. Anxiety? What’s that? Pick up an 850mg cart from Native Harvest for $65.


For those about to rock — and who get anxious in crowds — look no further. This strain will uplift your mood, drown out your anxiety and even soothe your feet that ache from standing (leave me alone I’m old)! It really is a great pain reliever and leaves your body slightly tingly. And happy! I like to use ACDC before I enter an anxious situation, to prevent anxiety from attacking me. Think of it as a preventative strain for anxiety. Pick up a pre-roll at Green Buffalo for $10.

I like having fun, and anxiety makes everything less fun. But after a few tokes of a good anxiety-reducing strain, I relax, the mister relaxes, and we enjoy our evenings. Many of these strains help with multiple issues that actually improve lives, and I’m not sure why people want to hate on that. I guess, as my 8-year-old says, haters gonna hate.

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