This is my favorite time of the year to get out into all of the natural wonders our state has to offer. Not only is it before Thanksgiving break — so you avoid school kids and families — the cool temps keep you comfortable, while you admire the lovely fall foliage and get high in some of the quietest places in our state.
Nothing beats sitting in relative silence, as your joint smoke wisps away on a fall breeze. So if you can make sure not to ruin the peace with your coughing, I’d love to invite you on a toke-de-force of the Four-O-High. Yes, high can be a number if you want it to be.
Beavers Bend State Park
Broken Bow. The first two places I have in mind are a bit of a drive from the Oklahoma City metro but totally worth it, if you’ve never been. Beavers Bend, aka Sasquatch’s backyard, is like having the best wooded parts of Arkansas show up right at the very ass-end corner of our state and slap you with towering and majestic pines. The smell is as good as some of that super glue bud I reviewed last month! Always shaded by these elderly elms and powerful pines, be sure to take a jacket!
Cache/Lawton. The second area is for the hiking enthusiast in your circle. Rugged terrain and boulder-hopping is a must for your adventurous soul — just make sure to take a friend, so you don’t end up in a 4 hundred and 20 hours situation. Crab Eyes, The Narrows and Charon Garden are some of the best areas this time of year. Avoid Mount Scott, unless you want to have a bitch of a time getting your herb lit in the 50 mph wind. Also, Meers Restaurant has always sucked; just skip it.
Alabaster Caverns State Park
Woodward County. Did you know we had a cavern here in Oklahoma? One of the largest natural gypsum caverns in the world? Neither did I, until about five years ago! If you’ve never been to a cave, this will be mildly impressive. If you’ve been to any real cave system, you will be highly disappointed, unless you get some of your Tolkien fan friends to reenact the Balrog scene. Last time I went, I had to pack up suddenly and flee wildfires as they crossed the highway. For the record, my blazing buds had nothing to do with the fire.
Turner Falls Park
Davis. Always in the mood for a fried pie? I will happily drive down to Davis anytime for the atmosphere of this quaint summer spot. Seriously, I want to buy that place on the way to the blue pool — you know, the one that’s built into the hillside? Anyway, for $5 you can get into some heady, contemplative creek hiking and notice the serious lack of Hispanic families bumping Cumbia music and Baptist campers having sex in the bushes.
Stinchcomb Wildlife Refuge
Yukon. Low on cash or have a vehicle situation? Look no further than the outskirts of your very own city! This place is great for the bad ass angler or duck downer in your tribe. With a long, five-mile hike there and back, it’s perfect for bike toking and mushroom gathering. Don’t miss out on this tasty little slice of natural pie.
—Uncle Skunk hits the open road to find the best toking spots in nature.