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Tokelahomans Suffer These 5 First World Weed Problems

Medical marijuana kinda already feels like the norm in Oklahoma. It’s easy to forget the long-gone days of a bit over a year ago, when options for cannabis were limited almost exclusively to your shadiest friends. We live in a rare time o’ plenty, my friends! But it’s not entirely without its challenges. These five first-world weed worries will remind you just how good we have it in Oklahoma!

1. Deal Scarcity

I remember when the best deal I could expect in my cannabis curation was the opportunity to purchase from someone I was mostly sure wasn’t going to rob me.

These days, dispensaries offer plenty of deals — it’s just that I frequently stumble on a deal I can’t pass up, only to find out everyone else already stumbled upon the exact same deal….annnd there is none left for me. In that very moment, It. Is. The. Worst. Then I take a step back and recall when I couldn’t find any cannabis (a real problem), then I purchase whatever reasonably priced stuff is in front of me and move on with my day.

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2. Too Many Options

I deal with this issue on a weekly basis, and it’s easy to forget what a privilege it is to have this problem — not unlike other easily forgettable things, like what I was saying or why I got my phone out of my pocket.

The first sign you are living in a time of cannabis excess is not knowing what kind of cannabis you want to spend your money on. Do you want an eighth of beautifully cured flower, a gram of shatter, that pack of curiously strong suppositories? They are all available! Bewilderment at all the options is the ultimate signpost of a first world cannabis problem.

3. Leaving the State is a Real Burden

Visiting family in Texas has never been fun. Family, forced socialization and the state of Texas are three things I’ve not been incredibly keen on in my adult life.

But I discovered over Thanksgiving that this burden is made exponentially heavier by not having a source of legal cannabis on every single street. Ugh…How am I expected to spend time with family if I don’t have immediate, continuous access to incredibly strong, medical-grade edibles?

4. Tolerance of a Weed Demon

I don’t really know how much THC a Weed Demon can handle, but it’s safe to assume it’s a lot. High THC Tolerance is something many Oklahoman medical marijuana patients would share in common with a THC Weed Demon.

Having so much variety available — and having so little self control — has led me to only be able to smoke concentrated cannabis. Yeah… I could take a tolerance break. I could also join a cult. Doesn’t mean I’m gonna.

5. You Lose the Weed

Before cannabis was so plentiful, I tracked my stash more closely than a white, middle aged, suburban dad tracks his favorite pair of sandals.

Fast forward to this new, insane world of excess, and I currently have no idea where to find two grams I bought last week…and I’m only vaguely bummed about the situation. Before 788, I would have disassembled every square inch of living space and torn through every personal belonging to find that bud. There would have been search parties, helicopters; a photo of my weed would have been on every single milk carton they don’t really sell anymore. Now, I just kind of look under some stuff, shrug and go smoke my other stuff.

How lucky are we to live in Oklahoma in a time when weed problems like these are possible to have!

Medical marijuana kinda already feels like the norm in Oklahoma. It’s easy to forget the long-gone days of a bit over a year ago, when options for cannabis were limited almost exclusively to your shadiest friends. We live in a rare time o’ plenty, my friends! But it’s not entirely without its challenges. These five first-world weed worries will remind you just how good we have it in Oklahoma!

1. Deal Scarcity

I remember when the best deal I could expect in my cannabis curation was the opportunity to purchase from someone I was mostly sure wasn’t going to rob me.

These days, dispensaries offer plenty of deals — it’s just that I frequently stumble on a deal I can’t pass up, only to find out everyone else already stumbled upon the exact same deal….annnd there is none left for me. In that very moment, It. Is. The. Worst. Then I take a step back and recall when I couldn’t find any cannabis (a real problem), then I purchase whatever reasonably priced stuff is in front of me and move on with my day.

2. Too Many Options

I deal with this issue on a weekly basis, and it’s easy to forget what a privilege it is to have this problem — not unlike other easily forgettable things, like what I was saying or why I got my phone out of my pocket.

The first sign you are living in a time of cannabis excess is not knowing what kind of cannabis you want to spend your money on. Do you want an eighth of beautifully cured flower, a gram of shatter, that pack of curiously strong suppositories? They are all available! Bewilderment at all the options is the ultimate signpost of a first world cannabis problem.

3. Leaving the State is a Real Burden

Visiting family in Texas has never been fun. Family, forced socialization and the state of Texas are three things I’ve not been incredibly keen on in my adult life.

But I discovered over Thanksgiving that this burden is made exponentially heavier by not having a source of legal cannabis on every single street. Ugh…How am I expected to spend time with family if I don’t have immediate, continuous access to incredibly strong, medical-grade edibles?

4. Tolerance of a Weed Demon

I don’t really know how much THC a Weed Demon can handle, but it’s safe to assume it’s a lot. High THC Tolerance is something many Oklahoman medical marijuana patients would share in common with a THC Weed Demon.

Having so much variety available — and having so little self control — has led me to only be able to smoke concentrated cannabis. Yeah… I could take a tolerance break. I could also join a cult. Doesn’t mean I’m gonna.

5. You Lose the Weed

Before cannabis was so plentiful, I tracked my stash more closely than a white, middle aged, suburban dad tracks his favorite pair of sandals.

Fast forward to this new, insane world of excess, and I currently have no idea where to find two grams I bought last week…and I’m only vaguely bummed about the situation. Before 788, I would have disassembled every square inch of living space and torn through every personal belonging to find that bud. There would have been search parties, helicopters; a photo of my weed would have been on every single milk carton they don’t really sell anymore. Now, I just kind of look under some stuff, shrug and go smoke my other stuff.

How lucky are we to live in Oklahoma in a time when weed problems like these are possible to have!

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