September 2019, I took the high ride of a lifetime.
At the tender age of 25, I took the plunge into the world of marijuana. Four months later, I have yet to surface. In this short time — despite being an educated, reasonably productive member of society — I’ve been subjected to the most ridiculous, ignorant, megaphone-style opinions on my decision to smoke. These are the five dumbest things the pot pearl-clutchers have said to me:
1. “Good luck finding a job!”
These people act like weed smokers are walking through the front door of an interview room smelling like an I-40 brush fire. It’s a shame, but many of us have heard this same song more times than a Garth Brooks song at Cookie’s karaoke. While employers do retain the right to act against it in certain instances — for the most part — employers are prohibited from ‘discrimination’ against a medical marijuana patient solely based on their status as an OMMA cardholder or a positive drug test for marijuana.
2. “What’s next? Legalize heroin?”
If your next step from weed is heroin, you need to go to rehab. ASAP. Just because medical cannabis is legal doesn’t mean Oklahoma is destined to become a drug free-for-all. These Nervous Nellies act like weed is the harbinger of end-times…the entrance to a den of iniquity with no emergency exit. It’s the equivalent of saying, “You love OKC Thunder? What’s next? Have sex with Rumble?” Dumb.
Because the number of dispensaries, etc. indicate we've either been hit with the equivalent of the bubonic plague or describing as medical is pure lunacy (though some definitely need it for cancer, illness, etc).
— Steve's OKC Central (@stevelackmeyer) September 27, 2019
3. “Some people smoke just to get high!”
Wow. You caught us! Actually, it was Steve Lackmeyer who caught us. Yes, there are people who got their OMMA cards just to get legal access to weed. Who gives a shit? News flash: It seems like there are more dispensaries than churches and McDonald’s throughout the state. Is it one of those, Thou doth protest too much things with these naysayers? So what if an adult human chooses to consume a harmless (healing) plant that makes them feel happy, relaxed, joyful and weirdly nostalgic! Also, did god not give man “every herb-yielding seed?”
4. “I read a
n article headline about Cannabis-Induced Psychosis.”
I’ll have you know, my last mental breakdown happened before I even started using marijuana. So there! This comment comes from the people who Google answers, not questions, looking only for “facts” to support their position. There is no reasoning with this kind of person, who likely spends their free time sharing fake news on Facebook and doing research on Flat-Earth Theory.
5. “Why don’t you move to Colorado or California?”
I’m not even kidding, one of my relatives — who is clearly not fond of me — said this, after learning I smoke weed. So dumb. I’m not going to pick up my ball and go somewhere else because OK Boomers can’t seem to stop being offended about a fucking plant. I’d rather stay right here and watch Oklahoma’s economy go the direction of other pot-loving states. California, where marijuana tax revenue declined in 2019, still collected in the neighborhood of $350 million in cannabis coin. By comparison, Oklahoma collected $54.7 million in the same time-frame.
What are the dumbest things people have said to you? Drop them in the comments, and let’s have a laugh!