There you are. Driving down the road, minding your own business, with the angelic children you raised sitting quietly in the backseat. Out of nowhere, Matt, Claire and Katherine bolt upright in the bench seat — eyes wild, mouth foaming — and demand in unison that you pull over at the next exit. They need the marijuana. They need it now. It was the beginning of the end.
As you may have guessed, this story does not have a happy ending. There would be no more glorious, generationally-wealthy-family trips to Turks and Caicos. Everything was ruined.
We assume this is what happened to State Senator Mark Allen, author of Senate Bill 1257, which seeks to ban medical marijuana billboard advertising in Oklahoma.
Medical marijuana billboard advertising could be curtailed under a bill to be considered during the upcoming legislative session.
Anybody who has driven around the state’s highways over the last year has likely seen the proliferation of billboards that have sprung up since voters approved medical marijuana.
The legislation would ban advertising that promotes overconsumption or says marijuana is curative or therapeutic. It also would ban marketing to children.
Our brave GOP legislator — of the small-government, good-for-business, corporations-are-people party — authored a bill to tamp down the green rush and slap a muzzle on the MMJ businesses. I’m confused. Didn’t Republicans cheer the U.S. Supreme Court when it decided corporations were people whose commercial speech was protected under the First Amendment?
How would Sen. Allen respond if Subway billboards were banned on account of promoting overconsumption of the nasty grey matter his family’s corporation supplied the national chain under the dubious label of ‘meat?’ I suspect he would protest faster than a man with meat sweats sprinting to the nearest public restroom.
I can think of about 2,500 dispensary owners who would love to debate him on the matter — or even just ask what the hell he was thinking. But, so far, Sen. Allen isn’t talking. Probably because he knows SB 1257 is an unconstitutional farce and a waste of resources.