Oopsie! New Rec. MJ Petition Would Revoke Your OMMA License

Danna Malone, typo enthusiast and co-author of the latest bid to get recreational marijuana on the ballot.

Yet another petition seeking to legalize recreational marijuana in Oklahoma — SQ 811, the third of its kind — was filed last week. SQ 811 might as well have been named SQ 420, because the authors were obviously high when they drafted it.

The bill is expected to be pulled this week (sound familiar?) to fix some major gaffes minor details in the language. I guess the authors — Danna “Typo-Prone” Malone, owner of Ye Olde Apothecary Shoppe and member of the group that calls itself “We Are 788” — do not have an amazing editor like I do.

Lucky for them and for us, Tulsa attorney Ron Durbin (no relation to Durban Poison, though both are known to get ‘er done) has come to the rescue, pointing out the “small wording problems.”

Via The Tulsa World:

“the draft has small wording problems, such as some clauses lacking the word “not,” as well as big problems like the language unintentionally revoking all current medical marijuana licenses and preventing growers from watering their crops.”

Well that’s not very nice! Is Malone the equally evil doppelgänger of Julie Ezell (without the “medspa” rejuvenation) — hellbent on MMJ being DOA — or is she just a little ham-handed with details, like words? I wonder, Does Madam Malone want to fuck, marry or kill medical marijuana in Oklahoma? Because when you don’t water things, they die.

Members of “We Are 788” at a recent legislation writing sesh.

I imagine a “We Are 788” meeting looks like a That 70s Show circle, only less productive. What does Danna “Typo-Prone” Malone have to say for herself?

“We wanted to protect medical; we don’t want recreational, but that bell’s been rung, and we can’t unring it,” Malone told the Tulsa World.

What bell? I didn’t hear a bell. I have a bad memory, but I think how this works is this: To get a State Question on the ballot requires signatures. And good luck getting people to touch those pens now with the fake-Mexican beer flu going around!! (Pro Tip: Quit sharing vape pens; it’s fucking gross!) Anyway, if the petition gets enough signatures it becomes a State Question, and the people vote; if the State Question gets enough votes, then it’s a law. Right? Quasimodo is still sleeping at this point, Madame Malone.

This bill isn’t all bad; the people of “We Are 788” are trying to do good.

The measure would allow for medical marijuana to be donated, a change from current law, to allow for patient-assistance programs.

This is just common sense. A terminally ill person doesn’t have the time or temerity to grow their own. It would be amazing to be able smoke my grow with my granny, who has terminal breast cancer. I mean I probably will anyways, but it would be nice to share and stay on the right side of the law.

I’m not a lawyer and I haven’t studied this ballot initiative, but something that caught my eye was that nothing was allowed to be amended (Sec. 21. Rules and Regulations). Those 50 pages are to stand as the final rule and law? That’s pretty scary, given the first draft revoked all our licenses and killed our plants.

What happens as times change? What happens when marijuana is legalized federally? Danna “Typo-Prone” Malone doesn’t give a shit. What if the Medical Marijuana OGs and others strongly object to SQ 811? She doesn’t give a shit about that, either:

“…I want everyone to know that we’re not gonna make everybody happy,” Malone said.

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