There is nothing like the memory of sharing a joint on the back patio of Blue Note before, during and after a good show to bring a tear to my eye. We will get by. Until then, let’s break up the monotony of our usual toking spots and take a look at 7 fun new places to get high at home.
1. On the Roof
This one has been a favorite of sneaky teenagers with an upstairs bedroom for many an era and, honestly, when’s the last time you were up there? Maybe Christmas, but I leave my nondenominational lights up all year long to signify “party over here.” Grab your ladder or sturdiest pile of crap on the least windy day (good luck), and enjoy your backyard / parking lot / whatever from a new view. While you’re up there, could you throw down my Frisbee?
2. In a Tree
Since you’re outside, got any trees? I only have one good enough for climbing at home but have been to Will Rodgers park and enjoyed a toke in those nice juniper trees along the backside many a time. The higher the better…your position in the tree, not your state of mind. There’s nothing more terrifying than getting totally baked and looking down from 30-feet up, in growing darkness, to fill your gut with cold dread.
3. In the Fridge
Those blistering Okie summers are quickly approaching, and why not have the coolest hot box in the neighborhood? Move over, leftovers and Braum’s milk! There’s only enough room in here for my ass and this loud ass dank. Your food will be safe, sitting outside just long enough for you to get the munchies and combine random ingredients for a snack after you get out. To answer your burning question, the contents of the fridge remain after you close the door and the lights go out.
4. Inside a Makeshift PPE Bong Mask
While I do not have any N-95 masks to help me survive this slow-burning apocalypse, I do have a DYI US-420 mask — perfect for when I go out in public to restock my stash. This baby holds many tokes and according to President Trump will smoke out any virus that threatens my health.
5. At the Grill
If you can still find that old style of brick weed or just a ton of cheap but really good shake, dust off and fire up that rusty ass backyard grill and have a cookout of epic proportions. Smoke your dinner and yourself, while reminiscing on fond memories of cookouts past. One fine day, they will return.
6. In the Tub
What could be more relaxing than firing up a joint and smoking the whole damn thing…slowly…while you hotbox your bathroom. If you’re too afraid to be alone in there with your own thoughts, bring some music.
7. In Your Parents’ Basement
Times are tough. Maybe you are living — temporarily, of course — in the basement of the people who spent their entire lives telling you to Just Say No. How electrifying to be fraught with danger…just sitting down there in your underwear smoking a fatty! Hotbox the shit out of that basement…then text mom you’re ready for her to bring your afternoon snack.
—Uncle Skunk will get by.