Green Crack: A Review of the Sativa Stalwart

Sometimes you need a little extra boost to get it up for Monday. The folks at Mr. Green Dispensary were all too happy to show me some of the dankest daytime sativas on the market. We chose Green Crack and put the house-grown powerhouse to the test…

Meet Green Crack.

Green Crack by Mr. Green Grow House


Science and fair government practices have been so far removed from cannabis that we go the extra mile to be as unbiased as possible in our reviews. It looks like this:

  • I go into each test blindly — not knowing which strain I am sampling.
  • I start with a 100% clean chillum, load it with 0.2g flower and do a dry pull. This allows me to taste the terpene flavors that should be brought out by the grind before the flame.
  • Then I take a puff to roll on the tongue before the inhale…to really get that profile on lock.
  • After that, the real fun begins: We get to clear the bowl — notepad handy, so we don’t let the haze consume us.

Overall Hybrid Rating: 8/10

Productivity: 4/10
Creativity: 8/10
Brain Relief: 7/10
Pain Relief: 8/10
Creep: 10/10
Appetite: No effect
Duration: 72 minutes
Taste[Eating]: Plain/Earthy
Taste[Dry Pull]: Earthy, Peppery, Mango, Pine
Taste[Smoke]: Spicy with piney earth tones that actually sting like a 
tiny pine forest attempted to sprout on the tongue.
Actual Terpene Profile: Myrcene / Caryophyllene / Limonene / Humulene / Ocimene
Grower: Mr. Green Grow House
Age: 7 days

Predicted: Sativa-Dominant Hybrid

I took my first hit at 9:18 p.m., and the feeling was delayed about 1:50 minutes in.

The funny thing was I coughed hard on the second hit, but the cough actually felt good. So it felt very hybrid in that respect and performs just like you’d expect one to. This famous morning go-to turns out to be a hybrid cross between a sativa, Skunk#1, and an indica, Afghani. I guessed right! I could definitely feel the Afghani shine.

Green Crack gave me more of a body creative high than a clean-the-house high. I tried new things, and it was very fun and enlightening.

The high was a great mixture of relaxed thinking and pain relief. I was surprised how much indica came through on this one, including a slight chair lock [4 minutes] and a moderate pain reduction in my busted shoulder.

About 20 minutes in, Green Crack got me with a heavy haze wave, and I lost track of my chillum. It was in my hands a second ago!

Pros: Duration, innovative thinking, pain relief, robustly perfect creep 
Cons: Mad dry-mouth, some couch-lock

Where to Get It:

Green Crack is a prolific strain you can find at plenty of dispensaries in OKC, Tulsa and across the state. I got mine at Mr. Green, where they went above and beyond to help out an articulate, sometimes-verbose, semi-confusing spaz who dropped in just before closing time. I have to shout them out for that, so thank you guys; you fucking rock.

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