A few weeks ago, we told you about a California-based company’s plans to launch a dual alcohol-marijuana breathalyzer by the end of this godforsaken year. Our friend John Hunsucker— the attorney who literally wrote the book on Oklahoma DUI defense — gave us some sage advice…and a chilling warning.
He was terribly correct.
Now, Oklahoma GOP lawmakers are moving full steam ahead with legislation to fund a $300,000 ‘pilot program’ to allow cops to catch yo stanky weed breath on a traffic stop.
“State lawmakers want Oklahoma to be among the first in the U.S. to implement a marijuana breathalyzer test.
Through a spending bill, they’re directing the Department of Public Safety to spend $300,000 on testing units made by Oakland, California–based Hound Labs…”
Of course we need a way to determine if someone is impaired behind the wheel. But here’s a novel idea: Maybe it should be a scientifically proven way. And maybe it should be extended to include other legal substances that can impair driving. I don’t hear anyone talking about a breathalyzer for Xanax or Oxy.
Okmulgee’s finest, Rep. Scott Fetgatter, is one of the main lawmakers backing the bill to get Hound Labs’ dual alcohol-marijuana breathalyzer ‘pilot program’ off the ground. He proudly told FOX25,
“I called them, they came to Oklahoma. We met and decided to do a pilot program for law enforcement across the state.”
Sounds like a very thoughtful, well-laid plan! I imagine it went down something like this:
Rep. Fetgatter:
“Hi, Hound Labs, can we spend $300,000 on your untested prototype, so we can focus specifically on hounding Oklahoma’s medical marijuana patients?”
Hound Labs:
Despite the lack of testing and the fact that any results from this breathalyzer ‘pilot program’ are not admissible in court, eager beaver Fetgatter wants to “get it implemented as soon as possible.”
But Oklahoma DUI Attorney John Hunsucker thinks lawmakers should slow their roll, telling FOX:
“The problem is …they have false positives they can be manipulated, they’re a machine.”
Good News in Fetgatter’s Fuckery:
YOU DON’T HAVE TO TAKE THE TEST. Until the device’s validity is proven, it will be entirely voluntary. If you are asked to donate some of your stanky cannabis breath to this robot anti-vape, politely decline.
I’ll be taking the advice of our smart lawyer friend John and enjoying my 5th Amendment right to shut the fuck up and keep my breath to myself!
—Be a responsible citizen of humanity and don’t drive impaired.
Fuck no, I won’t blow!