Before this tale is told, I want to be straightforward with y’all: I’m no expert when it comes to edibles. And I tried to take this assignment as serious as possible, but shit happens.
My editor gave me two different forms of THC-infused things from Fire Leaf dispensary to try: One 200 mg bottle of raspberry cheesecake flavored Happy Sap and two 100 mg vials of Woozie. Both can be added to any food or drink to instantly create edibles or infused cocktails.
Not knowing what to do with the Happy Sap since I had no ice cream, I promptly downed the entire bottle. Later, when my pal Bug came over, I was told I sat on the front porch in a stupefied state mumbling semi coherent responses to questions that may or may not have been directed toward me. The rest of the evening escapes me. Vowing not to repeat my Happy Sap gaffe, I decided to try one 100 mg vial of Woozie — but up the ante on the setting of my review.
I was going on a storm-chase!
Now I’m not scared of storms when I’m in the comfort of my own home…toking while laughing as I flip back and forth between Mike “Panic” Morgan and “Always a tornado on the ground” Payne, but driving around in cars while the rain and hail pounds your car just to hopefully catch a glimpse of some cool weather phenomena that may or may not decide to suck your vehicle into the sky seems crazy to me.
Lucky for me, I have Auntie Skunk. Last year she became a Certified Storm Chaser™, so I decided to see if this Woozie oil could calm my nerves and help me weather the storm as I rode along with her for my very first storm chase!
But not without my Braum’s.
Before I put the Woozie into a vanilla milkshake from Braum’s, I used all my senses to work out what this oil was all about. Sniffing closely, the only thing I could vaguely pick up on was a faint hint of vegetable oil. Other than that, it was slightly yellow and fairly odorless — probably undetectable to all but the most sensitive.
I put a dab on my finger and touched it to my tongue. At first there was no sensation, but slowly a pleasant buzz or hum came over the spot where I licked it. Finally stirring the entire 100 mg vial into my shake, I began sipping it on our drive down toward Lawton to storm-chase. The Woozie flawlessly blended into my drink. If I hadn’t put it in there myself, I’d have never known.
The Woozie flawlessly blended into my drink. If I hadn’t put it in there myself, I’d have never known.
Taking the back highway 277, the growing darkness from the towering black clouds we approached only matched the feeling of dread that began to grow inside my gut. As we passed through the charming town of Cement, with its towering tors of stone, I began to feel that old familiar sensation of tranquiliTHC creep up my spine and spread toward my brain.
We neared Elgin, and Auntie Skunk white-knuckled the wheel while the rain pounded the windshield and the wind howled over the weather radio, keeping us updated on the whereabouts of the baseball sized hail we were chasing. But I didn’t notice any of this, because I was in my own warm and cozy happy place, dreaming about hanging out in a huge magical forest with all my friends…toking, drinking, playing hackey sack while music wafts through the branches.
As I get a clearer picture of this imaginary paradise, a gentle nudge from my left opens my eyes to a beautiful blue sky with the clouds behind us. “It’s all done with?” I asked my brave counterpart. She replied with a laugh, patted my head and told me to sit back for the ride home.
I was able to enjoy all of the sights, sounds and thrills offered by storm chasing…but through the lens of safety, knowing my driver and my Woozie-spiked milkshake would be there to help me if things got heavy. When the going gets stormy, get stoned.
—Uncle Skunk ♥ ️ Auntie Skunk
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