Father’s Day is up my mind and around the corner, and I’d like to say thank you to all the amazing Weed Dads out there (especially mine)! I’m pretty damn happy my kids (and 5 percent of the next generation of Oklahomans) are being raised by mellow, playful stoners instead of angry drunks.
Here are seven reasons why Weed Dads are the best dads:
1. No Fetching Beers
Somehow, when dad starts drinking large quantities of shitty beer, the poor kid becomes Fido. Fetch, boy!! Apparently this phenomenon is prevalent enough to warrant its own douchey t-shirt for bad beer dads. Replace beer with joint and everybody would lose their minds. I’m not sure your kids should be fetching you anything.
2. More Quality Time with Family
All the time spent drinking to get drunk and recovering from hangovers…what an exhausting waste of time! But Weed Dad has tons of time for chores and family — the kind of shit Weed Mom wants him to do. Cannabis even makes doing chores together fun.
3. Everything’s Alright, Alright, Alright
Instead of getting drunk and angry, Weed Dads get stoned…and everything is alright, alright, alright. They realize there’s no need to worry about all the little things, like will life ever return to normal? Am I going to be able to feed my family this week? Are we going to be able to vacation this summer…or ever again? Weed puts pops in the here and now…making these fine fathers ever more present for and patient with their children. What a gift.
4. Good Vibes Only
Unlike booze, which is known to amplify symptoms of anxiety and stress, marijuana actually alleviates this terrible twosome. Growing up with a stressed out pops was no fun. It would have been nice if he would have relaxed more and not yelled so much. I’m thankful my kids are being raised in a much more peaceful place.
5. Child’s Play is a Good Thing
Weed Dads know not to take themselves too seriously. They don’t really care what others think and are more interested in having fun in the moment. These dads will likely join in on a video game or initiate a hackysack competition, instead of yelling to turn down the goddamn music. As I write this, Weed Dad is bonding with the elusive 11-year-old over a video game called Undertale, which I do not understand at all. It makes me happy all the same.
6. These ‘Dad Bods’ Are Hot Bods
Studies have shown that for some odd reason people who consume marijuana on the regular tend to trim their waistlines — despite all the snacking when the munchies hit. This counter-intuitive weight loss situation happened to both of us. It’s science, people! My kids have probably never given one thought to their dad’s physique, but I can tell you they enjoy all the fun that comes with having a dad who is healthy, happy and active.
7. Says HELL YEAH to Snacks
Weed Dads always have plenty of excellent munchies on hand and love to share! All the neighborhood kids know exactly whose house has the happy parents with the best snacks and three different types of peanut butter open at the same time. Legendary.
— Weed Mom know you don’t have to smoke pot to be a great dad…but it’d be a lot cooler if you did.