This recovering Catholic has a confession to make: I don’t like cannabis sativa. At least I thought I didn’t.
Sativas always made me super squirrelly. I’m talking heart-pounding, knot-in-stomach, paranoid about missing deadlines, mind racing with images of kids running with scissors on slippery floors squirrelly.
But there wasn’t a snowball’s chance in Inhofe’s hand I would turn down a chance to try the new artisan strain — a sativa — from Kola Organics.
Meet Grape Day Kola.
Every shade of god’s glorious green must be represented in this bigass bud! The orange pistils seem to sprout in all directions — some so long Trump would be jealous. But the thing that really strikes me about the pristine bud is how dense the trichome frosting appears! This whispers to me the promise of a potent smoke.
As I break up the flower, I recognize the distinct and pungent top-note and realize that it must be a Kola Organics hallmark. Like any unique smell, it is hard to describe, but I’d say it’s equal parts earthy and sweet.
Knowing that Kola’s marijuana flower is grown in organic, living soil made from scratch, this makes sense to me. Beneath that lovely Kola smell is — as you may have guessed — grape. Very grape, with hints of citrus.
On the inhale, I taste sweet grape Kool-Aid. Calorie free! It’s a super smooth smoke. I have baby lungs so bad I even cough when I hit a vape, yet somehow I smoked an entire bowl of Grape Day Kola without so much as clearing my throat. This, in stark comparison to my usual cacophony of coughing. The remarkable smoothness is a testament to the quality of this cannabis, and my neighbors thank the grower mightily for this minor miracle.
Two hits on my freshly-cleaned bong, and I definitely feel it. It’s a bright burst of energy and euphoria. I check in with myself and am surprised to find that I have a buzz but am clear-headed, with none of the anxiety that marred all my previous encounters with sativa strains.
I finish the generous bowl I so thoughtfully packed myself and am ready to go! But it’s not a restless or nervous energy; it feels as smooth as it smokes. I like not being in jail, so I don’t get behind the wheel after I’ve smoked, but I make note of thinking, I feel like I could accomplish complex tasks to include driving. Now, I can’t tell you why that fairly formal thought formed in my mind — maybe because I am high — but the point remains: I have a certain sense of euphoria but am alert, sharp and ready to get shit done.
ZERO anxiety. As a litmus test of sorts, I force myself to think about kids running with scissors…and then me sliding down a razor blade into a pool of alcohol (sorry, welcome to my brain). Despite forcing them in there, my stress-inducing thoughts don’t get stuck; they just pass right on through, like an underage girl at Kong’s.
I am surprised and elated to have discovered a sativa that gives me sustained energy that is EUPHORIC, rather than anxiety-inducing! Highly recommended — nay, urged — for anyone who has ever uttered the words, I don’t like sativas.
—Grape Day Kola is available at the following Oklahoma dispensaries: High Society (Warr Acres), Green Roots Wellness (OKC), Oasis Healing Center (Moore), Living Leaf (Moore & OKC locations), Elemental Process (Yukon), The Bud Barn (Marlow) and Heaven Scent (Duncan).