Halloween isn’t just for kids! It’s also a time-honored tradition for grown stoners: Consume copious amounts of exquisite edibles (or your “special” basic-ass brownies) and watch monster movies!
I thought it would be super fun — and help 2020 not also claim Halloween on its exhaustively long list of “worst-evers” — to pair seven yummy edibles with seven Halloween flicks.
Edibles Tip: Take it slow. Start with a lower dose and wait two hours before increasing. Always…but especially when too much paranoia could creep in, ruin the movie and get you thinking about the real creeps, Grandpa Inhofe and Gov. Stitt. Shit would get scary fast…
1. Bite-Size Candy + Terror at Tenkiller
50-mg Peanut Butter Cups ($14), 200-mg Lemon Bon Bons ($30), and 200-mg Red Velvet Bon Bons ($30). Hands up — who’s seen this 1986 film shot entirely in Oklahoma (though, interestingly, not at Lake Tenkiller)? Congratulations, you’re old.
Anyway, the entire point of trick-or-treating IRL is to get the little chocolate candies that taste the best. For the DIY, Covid-life-version, line up these THC treats and watch some scantily-clad ladies try their best not to die.
2. Root Beer Float + IT
100-mg Stargazer Edibles Vanilla Bean Ice Cream ($9.99) + 100-mg Keef Classic Bubba Kush Root Beer ($14.99). This 200-mg total-THC treat is just perfect to share with that special someone. With Weed Mom’s Adult Root Beer Float®, you’ll be floating on the edge of your chair as you watch IT. Don’t get too entranced; you don’t want your ice cream to melt.
3. S’mores + Friday the 13th
100-mg S’mores ($10). These s’mores will take you back to Camp Crystal Lake and hopefully set you in the mood to be freaked out. Jason’s mom is one crazy bitch!
4. COOKIES AND CREAME + A Nightmare On Elm Street
400-mg Chocolate Chip Cookies with Sweet Cream ($24)! I won’t be terrified about Freddy invading my dreams after eating these sweet, delicious cookies — will you? One, Two cookies for you. Three, Four you should have bought some more.
5. Ice Cream Sandwich + Hubie Halloween
40-mg JKJ Ice Cream Sandwich ($40). Netflix did not do this movie justice in its trailers. I loved it. Several characters from Sandle’s older movies make a return, which had me laughing until I cried! But I’m biased; I love almost all of his movies. Don’t judge.
6. Cheesy Popcorn + Killer Klowns From Outer Space
50-mg CannaKush Cheddar Popcorn ($16). Enjoy some cheesy popcorn alongside some cheesy, trippy clowns and a circus tent spaceship. Whoever made this movie was on something a lot stronger than marijuana.
7. Pizza + Halloween
100-mg Happie Flower Pizza ($25.95). The classic Halloween movie with the classic movie-night food…kicked up a notch! Can you even believe these things exist in Oklahoma?! It’s a lot better than living in Haddonfield, Illinois with that creep Michael Myers.
Just look at this pizza!
However you spend Halloween 2020, I genuinely hope it’s not the worst-ever. I’ll be sitting on the couch, hanging with my kids and watching a movie…while eating all the candy I bought them. And I’ll probably be a little stoned. 😉