Occasionally, something that seems too good to be true actually is. Like placing the winning bet on David Ostrowe in your “Which Member of Kevin Stitt’s Cabinet Will Be The First To Be Indicted” betting pool…or finding a THC drink that is equal parts curiously strong, delicious and cheap.
Hello, Grape Canna Quench.
My dad used to say, “If I tell you it’s Christmas, hang out your stocking.” I was fortunate enough never to believe a word an adult told me, but I sincerely hope you can suspend disbelief when I tell you this: Oklahoma Sweet Grass Canna Quench is a craft cannabis drink that will change how you think about edibles — including how much you paid for them before you knew better.
On weekends, special occasions and notably bleak Mondays like yesterday, I will swing by 24/7 Classen Kush House in downtown OKC and say, “Christian, let’s do the OSG GRAPE drank…TWO of them, please!”
The Taste
The GRAPE flavor of OSG’s Canna Quench tastes exactly like Welch’s grape juice. I mean exactly. You absolutely cannot taste the cannabis. Other Canna Quench flavors have been hit-or-miss for me, occasionally with a strong medicinal flavor. But never the grape — it is always perfection.
The Price
Two 200mg bottles are $25, tax included. And you don’t even need the expired Weedmaps coupon to snag this deal; that price is good all day, every day at Classen Kush House in OKC. $25 for 400mg of edibles is cheap.
You’d be tempted to think that price is too good to be true. You’d be wrong.
The Set + Setting
It was last night. I was excited for the meeting of Jupiter and Saturn in the Western skies — the ‘great conjunction.’ Zeus knows we could use a new astrological epoch! So my main squeeze and I, along with a bestie couple who are fellow skywatchers and ganja enthusiasts, gathered quietly after sundown to partake of the grape Canna Quench.
The Happy
I kept a notepad handy so I could reliably convey the speed and stealth with which this damn drink hits. These are the field notes high notes…
- 6:10 p.m. – Drank a 100mg serving (6 oz). This is an appropriate dosage for someone with the THC tolerance of a midsize reindeer. It would be smarter to start with a one-ounce (~17mg THC) or two-ounce (~33mg THC) serving and go from there. First time ever? Try a half-ounce.
- 6:27 p.m. – Went out under the stars to make a wish. We were serious about getting a good view of the night sky before we got high and forgot. No one had another 800 years to wait to see this rare cosmic alignment.
- 6:33 p.m. – Overthinking photo composition. While barely perceptible, this ability to get lost in a photograph was a sign to me that my grape Canna Quench was heading on to the scene.
- 6:40 p.m. – *HIGH* Exactly 30 minutes after dosing, I was over the moon. Ganjanaut stuff. I became acutely aware of the feeling of my cheekbones rising up into my field of vision as a perpetual grin took hold of my face.
- 6:42 p.m. – Why are we talking about ghosts? Always a valid question. We discussed some recent paranormal activity, decided a good sage sesh was in order and moved on from the spooky stuff to the stars.
- 7:17 p.m. – GOOGLY AF The “timestamp” note says it all.
- 7:21 p.m. – My Sharona At the one hour and 15 minutes mark, in a conversation about womankind, the three-syllable word “vagina” was spoken. My brain got stuck inserting that “vagina” — sing song style — right in the middle of The Knack’s 1979 smash hit, where a different three-syllable word should have been: “M-m-m-my Sharona!” On loop in my head. Girlfriend and I die laughing.
- 7:23 p.m. – RECAP of My Sharona That’s right. By 7:23 p.m. I was giving a recap of what happened at 7:21 p.m. My cheeks hurt from howling with laughter! Total embarrassment.
- 7:30 p.m. – Fits of food nostalgia That one time we ate at Del Rancho before we were vegan; Ashley’s Country Kitchen, when the father-in-law would get a 5-pound chicken fried steak breakfast for $3. And never forget Don’s Alley, where the only vegetable in sight was green beans except the maggots weren’t vegan.
- 7:33 p.m. – ANOTHER Recap, singalong of ‘My
VaginaSharona’ Jesus. - 7:53 p.m. – Get me home before I do a third recap Please.
The Bottom Line
OSG’s grape Canna Quench tastes exactly like Welch’s grape juice, is crazy cheap and hits fast, hard and Happy. Perfect for microdosing throughout the day for mood elevation and for nights of complete abandonment to extreme silliness and wild joy. Read more about this magical THC drink and the Oklahoma husband-and-wife duo who brought it to life in Tulsa People magazine.
