Life is suffering, sure. But let’s not get carried away. Whether it’s the wintertime blues, covid isolation or fatigue from binge-watching the series finale of America, you could probably use a boost to knock out some of those pesky resolutions.
This next one has you covered.
I stopped by The Joint Cannabis Club, located on the SE corner of NW 50th and N. Portland Ave. in Oklahoma City. They’re doing a crazy pop-up event on Sunday (12 noon – 4 p.m.), where all flower will be $11.56/gram OTD and the first 75 patients get a penny gram of Heartland Farms-grown flower with any purchase.
I wanted a sneak preview…and just the right sativa to help me rev up this New Year. My budtender Ryan would point me to just that.
XJ-13 is the combination of the super sweet sativa Jack Herer + the heavily psychedelic G-13, which may or may not have been created by the government in a Mississippi laboratory in the 1960s. After crossing the two, they crossed it back with the original Jack Herer parent to bring out its fruit and spice qualities.
This XJ-13 was grown by Heartland Farms in
Biggsby Bixby, Oklahoma and tested at 18.3% THC, with 4.99% terps — hence the formidable flavor and smell.
When I first examined the nug, my thoughts went to covert operatives growing pot and meeting in dimly lit parking garages to decide the fate of the free world and shit. That’s heavy, man. Like, whoa, man.
Seriously, this bud is beautiful — just gorgeous! The first thing I noticed is the trichome coverage. The entire surface is lit with crystals. Not a clear space on the bud! I crack into it, and it’s ridiculously sticky, light and jungle green, drenched in golden yellow and burnt-, brick-red hairs. Apparently the government CAN get shit done.
When I opened the jar and took the first little whiff, XJ-13 took off on me with the citrus notes. After I got the chance to really dig in, there was so much more to it! It had lemon and lime notes that explode your senses…and a dog shit smell that would turn you away if it was anything other than weed. Very, VERY pungent. There is a creamy, spicy, pie quality to it as well. Wow!
I rolled up a big joint and pulled through the unlit cone. The terpenes produce a initial combo of lemon, limes and a pungent, earthy-diesel-pepper combo reminiscent of the aforementioned dog shit. The terps have a slightly industrial chemical flavor. Rich as fuck! Really nice! I could smoke this dog shit all day. At least it isn’t that Labrador, maaaann.
The first rush of this flower was all in my head. The high crept into the front of my skull and created a slight pressure. That could just have been my allergies, but if that is the case, I am so high I can’t tell! I actually laughed and thought about that for a second!
Lost in contemplation, I experienced a slight pain relieving quality. I am at peace. I have a wonderful feeling of elation, happiness and joy — all around. Good shit. Multiple injuries, the pandemic and laziness got the better of me the last nine months. But smoking a joint of XJ-13 eased my pain enough to get me upright and energized enough to attempt a workout.
I found it to be an energetic, paranoia-free, tension relieving high, well-suited for physical activity!
Heartland Farms has outdone themselves with this XJ-13. Ryan up at The Joint said they “keep this one on the shelves!” Well fuck yeah, Ryan, I see why!
If you want to give this buzzy, energetic, pain-relieving strain a try for just $11.56/gram OTD, get down to The Joint’s OKC location this Sunday, where the grower will actually be in Shop. The first 75 patients receive a gram of Heartland Farms flower for a PENNY with any purchase!
—Jingo thinks if your taxes paid to engineer this strain, it’s probably your civic duty to give it a try.